My dad and me

My Baba is one of the most progressive thinking person I know, considering the fact that he was born in a village which has not developed much even now. My maa says, he was very fond of having a daughter after my two elder brothers were born. Maa says, he visited temples praying for a baby gal, Guess God was too kind to him and we trio( Nisha, Monisha and Manjusha) were born.

I have never seen my parents getting into an argument or my baba loosing his kool.
One confession that he made to me makes me proud of him. I love him very much.

It was in mumbai, both of us had gone for a walk, those days situation at home was quite a disturbing one after I decided to call off my marriage. My maa was playing all the emotional atyachar on me. I haven't seen tears in my baba's eyes when I was a kid. These days he has become emotional a bit, I cant see him cry for any reason and can do anything to see him happy.

My baba has a very different opinion about, I have lived away from him for long now and he still thinks I am the same as I was when I left home. I also pretend to be the same( with some guilt) to see him happy.

Amist all the chaos and confusion after me backing out of marriage, he said something which gives me gooseflesh even know when I write this.

He said, Mary You are such a nice gal I think the mistakes I have done in my past is affecting you. He told me about an affair, he had ( not many details though). He was relating my unhappiness with things of the past. He held my hand, both of us had tears in our eyes, I pretended to be strong and said chalo baba, let's s go for a drive and you can smoke. He smiled,
I got down from car, got one cig from a panwala, lit it for him( took a puff while lighting it for him). There was some silenece between us.

Not many people accept things that have done in the past, My dad did and it gives me a courage to be able to speak out the truth to someone you are close to. I would not open up to the whole world but definitely if someone is close to me, I would not shy away from telling the truth however crude, unaccepatble it maybe.

I dont face problems anywhere I go, the only reason I relate to is because of my baba's goodness God always helps me.

I fear losing my parents a lot, it is one of my biggest fears. And since it is inevitable I pray If they ever leave me, they should leave me together and be with each other.

After dada left me, my prayer has changed, I wish to be the first person to meet him in heaven.
............................

Always,
Mary